...inadequate...
Sometimes I feel inadequate. I'm sure I'm not unique in my feelings, as every mom goes through times like this. Luckily, with Christ, these thoughts don't consume me. I'm more BOTHERED by them. Little things will just bug me and I think to myself, BIG DUMMY... and then I'll insert whatever I did or didn't do. For example...
Why didn't I remember to....
....put wipes in the diaper bag...
....put a sippy cup in the car before we left to go shopping...
... buy her a winter coat...
Or sometimes someone will say something, and I'm like, Oh... yeah, we do that... and I am like OH GREAT!!! I am not doing that yet!!! And I'll freak out about it and go rush home to start whatever I think is missing from her life. (side note...if you know Hannah, she is not lacking anything in her life). I just feel like a putz when I don't pack an extra bottle or when I forget to put food in her diaper bag.
I have about twenty baby books, and I subscribe to TWO baby magazines, and I get several online emails weekly about my baby's development. I know what milestones she should be reaching by eleven months (and every month prior). I can tell you what month each tooth should come in, and I can give you an ear full about Hand/Foot/Mouth disease, baby flu, ER visits, hospitalizations, and cellulitis. But I don't even know what to feed her. What's that about.
I digress. The real point of this entry is to say this: "Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered."~ Psalm 32:1 Thank goodness we serve a God that forgives us for our sins. With that assurance, I know no matter what I do (or forget to do) with Hannah, she will love me just the same. Just like our God loves us just the same. With or without wipes.
Why didn't I remember to....
....put wipes in the diaper bag...
....put a sippy cup in the car before we left to go shopping...
... buy her a winter coat...
Or sometimes someone will say something, and I'm like, Oh... yeah, we do that... and I am like OH GREAT!!! I am not doing that yet!!! And I'll freak out about it and go rush home to start whatever I think is missing from her life. (side note...if you know Hannah, she is not lacking anything in her life). I just feel like a putz when I don't pack an extra bottle or when I forget to put food in her diaper bag.
I have about twenty baby books, and I subscribe to TWO baby magazines, and I get several online emails weekly about my baby's development. I know what milestones she should be reaching by eleven months (and every month prior). I can tell you what month each tooth should come in, and I can give you an ear full about Hand/Foot/Mouth disease, baby flu, ER visits, hospitalizations, and cellulitis. But I don't even know what to feed her. What's that about.
I digress. The real point of this entry is to say this: "Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered."~ Psalm 32:1 Thank goodness we serve a God that forgives us for our sins. With that assurance, I know no matter what I do (or forget to do) with Hannah, she will love me just the same. Just like our God loves us just the same. With or without wipes.
posted by caryn at 8:08 PM
2 Comments:
Welcome to the joys of motherhood Caryn! We all struggle with these things. It's ok. We are human. Something you need to know is that all the books and magazines in the world cannot tell you how to raise YOUR child. She is different from any other child. God gives us the knowledge on how to raise them. Every other week there will be something that she will want to eat, and the next week she will hate it! One week my daughter will only want cheese, cheese sandwhiches, just chopped up cheese, anything with cheese she is all for it. I can't get her to eat anything else. But the next week she will want rice and gravy or a salad, and doesn't want any cheese...it's weird, but they go through these phases. And she is still healthy. They get sick from time to time, they may even break bones. You are not inadequate because of these things. Proof for that is because when Hannah was sick- she was in the hospital. You cared for her and brought her to see the doctor, and wanted to do what ever it took to make her better. That is the love of a mother. We don't have magical powers that will prevent things from happening to our kids, but we can love them and love on them when they are hurt. You are doing an awesome job Caryn! Don't let the punk get you down!! He attacks us in every way possible, and this is the big one, because this is our lives. Our kids our family, the people we care about the most, is where he will try to come between. Keep doing what you are doing. Hannah is beautiful, and healthy, and growing. I'm going to post some pictures on my blog soon of stupid things I have done recently since having Emily. Your mind is so focused on your baby, you totally forget about little things. Forgetting extra bottles or wetwipes is so normal! It's ok. Don't beat yourself up over it! Just laugh, because it won't be the last time:-) Your awesome Caryn!
Thanks for your comments, Heather and Heather. HA HA!!
And so it goes...
Today I left for a big day with Hannah and wouldn't you know it... I forgot the bib and burp cloth.
I guess it all just goes to show that we'll never be perfect, and our babies turn out great anyway. Thank God!! :)
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