the irony of life...
I just don't get it.
Okay, so about a month ago, I started getting bored with summer. Yes, this always happens to me. And it still happened even though I have a little baby crawling all around. Usually about mid July something happens to me and I start feeling like I'm unproductive, wasting away and not using time to its fullest. So I yearn and long for the days of routine when I'm back at school.
That's today.
And I hated being back.
I think this is what hell is. We are NEVER happy. Never truly happy this side of eternity. I could not wait to get back into the rhythm and routine of the school day again. Then once it comes, I'm miserable because I can't spend every waking second with Hannah. But when I was with her 24/7, I was ready to do something else. It's the endless cycle of not being satified with where you are. This must be hell. Or at least the punk's (satan's) idea of how to make us all royally miserable until the second coming.
So I decided tonight that I can NOT stress out about school, or the fact that I have to wake up and go to a place that I would rather not go. I can't think like that. Instead, I need to focus on all the precious faces that I will get to see next week and how I will be able to positively influence and affect their lives. God has me teaching at an elementary school for a reason. My prayer is that I can stay positive and excited about seeing those eyes each day, and that those precious children only see love and care from me, not remorse because I'd rather be with Hannah. I want to be able to rest in my career, and not be restless because I MUST go to work.
Any thoughts on how to do this without robbing a bank so I can stop working?
Okay, so about a month ago, I started getting bored with summer. Yes, this always happens to me. And it still happened even though I have a little baby crawling all around. Usually about mid July something happens to me and I start feeling like I'm unproductive, wasting away and not using time to its fullest. So I yearn and long for the days of routine when I'm back at school.
That's today.
And I hated being back.
I think this is what hell is. We are NEVER happy. Never truly happy this side of eternity. I could not wait to get back into the rhythm and routine of the school day again. Then once it comes, I'm miserable because I can't spend every waking second with Hannah. But when I was with her 24/7, I was ready to do something else. It's the endless cycle of not being satified with where you are. This must be hell. Or at least the punk's (satan's) idea of how to make us all royally miserable until the second coming.
So I decided tonight that I can NOT stress out about school, or the fact that I have to wake up and go to a place that I would rather not go. I can't think like that. Instead, I need to focus on all the precious faces that I will get to see next week and how I will be able to positively influence and affect their lives. God has me teaching at an elementary school for a reason. My prayer is that I can stay positive and excited about seeing those eyes each day, and that those precious children only see love and care from me, not remorse because I'd rather be with Hannah. I want to be able to rest in my career, and not be restless because I MUST go to work.
Any thoughts on how to do this without robbing a bank so I can stop working?
posted by caryn at 9:29 PM
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